


Fall Over My Feet (When I’m With You)

by AzzleDazzle



Series: Let Me Keep You (And Never Let You Go) [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adoption, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Otabek Altin, Infertility, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Yuri Plisetsky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 01:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11978814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzzleDazzle/pseuds/AzzleDazzle
Summary: At this point, all Yuri wants is a baby.Part of a verse and might not make sense if you haven't read it first, but could possibly be a standalone piece.





	Fall Over My Feet (When I’m With You)

**Author's Note:**

> This does deal with issues of infertility. It was really hard to write and I hope I've done it justice, but if this isn't your thing, I totally understand and feel free to skip it.
> 
> I'm taking liberties and making it where you can totally be a foreigner and foster a child in a different countries, because FANFICTION. **If you don't like it, please don't read.**
> 
> Oh, since someone commented on Mieko's "when are y'all having a baby" in the last chapter of the last fic, I wrote about a third of this before I even started on Viktor's chapter and that line was throw in as a segue to this one, lol. No Mieko going I TOLD YOU SO, though.

Yuri’s head is still spinning when he gets home from the practice rink that day. They’re gearing up for Europeans soon and a win at both the Grand Prix and Russian Nationals isn’t a guarantee that he’ll win there, too, though he has almost every year since starting. 

It’s still weird, five years of marriage later, to come home to his husband. He sometimes thinks it’s because for the first several years of them being together, they were not often home at the same time, either at a competition or, in Beka’s case, at a gig somewhere. That hadn’t changed much when they had gotten married, but Yuri didn’t mind staying with the Nikiforov’s, if he was truthful. Now, though, Beka is retired and home more often and Yuri is thinking about next year. He’s 24 now, and still has a good few years of competitive skating left in him, if Yuuri and Viktor are indication, but there has been an itch under his skin the past few weeks, something he hasn’t been able to put his thumb on until this afternoon.

“Yura, is that you?” Beka calls from his studio.

“Yeah, I’m home.” Yuri sheds his shoes and outerwear and goes to his husband, who is sitting at his computer fiddling with some new program. He accepts a kiss from Yuri before turning back to what he’s doing, which probably means he’s on a deadline.

“What’s wrong?”

Yuri flops down on the couch up against the wall and just watches Beka work for a long minute. “Yuuri’s pregnant again.”

Beka pauses and turns around. “Isn’t Maxim just barely a year old.”

“Yeah, apparently it was an accident, but those two are so excited about it.”

“Is that what’s bothering you, Yura?” When Yuri glares at him, Beka only looks back calmly. “You’ve been quiet lately, I know how you are.”

Yuri tries to hold the look for a bit longer, but sighs and stands, crawling into Beka’s lap. It’s a bit awkward, because Yuri is taller than him, but they always make it work. “I think… I think I want a baby, too.”

“You know I will happily give you everything.”

“But I also want to keep competing, I don’t know if I’m ready to give everything up. And you know how hard it is for Beta/Omega pairs to have babies, what if- What if we can’t have a baby?” His words start loud and get quieter at the end, and Beka just holds him tighter. “I don’t want a whole brood like them, but… a baby would be nice.”

As much as he complains about taking care of the kids, Yuri is also the first person to volunteer to take them and he really doesn’t mind changing diapers or anything like that. He was used to helping with his siblings when they were younger and it isn’t that much different with the Nikiforov children. Max is cute, even though he’s walking now and getting into everything, and Mieko has always been his spoiled little girl. But now, Yuri wants one of his own. Beka being a Beta has never bothered him, not in the slightest, but it’s harder for them to have children than Alpha’s due to a lower reproductive count. 

If they try-

They may not even be able to-

It hurts, thinking these thoughts about Beka, his best friend, his first lover, now his last, but it’s the sad reality and Yuri has never been one to hold onto fake truths just to make himself feel better. It might not happen now. They might not be able to have a child. It might take a long time, they just didn’t know.

“Why don’t we wait until after the season ends before we start trying,” Beka says into Yuri’s hair. “We can go to the doctor, see what the odds are, if there’s anything we can do to help our chances. We don’t have to start tonight.”

They sit there for a moment, just holding each other, until Yuri turns to Beka with a smirk. “Well, you know, we can always _practice_ for when we are ready to start trying.”

Beka laughs and, in a surprise move, stands with Yuri cradled in his arms, carrying him to their room bridal-style. “I hear that practice before any event is important.”

888

They don’t wait until the end of the season to start going to the doctor, though. Beka makes an appointment the next day for both of them and they go through a battery of tests. As professional athletes (or former professional, in Beka’s case), they’re both used to testing and physicals and those sorts of things, but there’s a nervous edge to it now. Yuri’s head is swimming with _what if_ ’s and he wonders if this is how Yuuri feels on any given day. He throws himself into training with a vigor that Viktor hasn’t seen in him since the year after Yuuri went back onto the ice and he was determined to beat him at all of the events. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow most nights, exhausted.

He doesn’t tell anyone what they’re doing, not wanting to have to deal with more people’s disappointment than his own if it turns out they’re not able to have kids. He asks Beka and his husband tells him the same thing; it’s their own precious secret, for now.

A couple of weeks after they finish the tests, Yuri gets a call and they go back to the doctor for the results.

“Yuri, your test results are very good, no issues there. Given time, you should be able to get pregnant and there will hopefully be very little complications,” the doctor begins. He flips through the chart a bit and turns to Beka. “Now, Otabek, your results are not quite as good as we hoped, but they’re not bad, either. Your count is slightly below the average Beta’s, which means it may be harder for you. As you know, the chances of a Beta and Omega having a child are already on the low end of the scale, but this does make it more complicated.”

The doctor hands them a couple of pamphlets and talks to them about treatment options before they leave. Yuri flips through them on the drive home, growing more and more angry as he does. There’s nothing in there, really, that will help them, only alternatives and ‘options’ and a bunch of stupid _words_ on a page that don’t mean _shit_.

He crawls into their bed when they get back to the house, throwing the blanket over his head even though he knows it's going to get stifling hot quickly. He just wants to pretend like everything has disappeared, if only for a little while.

But his beautiful, talented, amazing husband is there before Yuri can even drift off to sleep, curling around him through the thickness of the comforter, letting him remain hidden from the world while still being there for him.

“It's not a no, Yurochka,” Beka murmurs.

“It wasn't a yes, either.”

“There are other options, too.”

Yuri sighs. “I know, but I just wanted something… something that was mine and yours. Half of me and half of you, like-” He doesn't finish, but Beka knows. Beka always knows.

They lay there in silence for a long time, before Yuri unearths himself from the blanket and wiggles out, flopping dramatically onto his husband, pointy chin digging into his chest as he stares up at Beka.

“You are no less of an Omega if you can't have children,” he murmurs, running his hand through Yuri’s hair.

“And you are no less of a man if you can't,” Yuri replies.

“Do you still want to try?”

“I want everything with you.”

888

When the season wraps up, Yuri stops taking his suppressants the day of the banquet, intent on his heat coming sooner rather than later. They're barely through the front door oof their house before Beka is pushing him against it, kissing along Yuri’s fever hot skin.

The heat burns in the best way as Beka fills him over and over again. His knot is smaller than an Alpha’s, but it’s more than enough for Yuri, who writhes on it over and over. Even through the blistering heat, his mind begs _please, please, let this be enough_ in an unending subconscious stream.

He tries not to let his sadness, his disappointment, show when he takes a test a month after his heat and it shows up negative. He cries in Beka’s arms as Beka reminds him that not everyone get get pregnant with a glance like Yuuri. It pulls a watery chuckle out of him, at the very least.

He has another heat, just before the next season starts. Again, he begs and pleads to whatever cosmic deity is out there.

Stupidly, he takes another test two days before a competition and winds up placing in third, much to the annoyance of Viktor. Yuri hasn't placed so low since the year he hit his growth spurt. He takes his lecture without argument, which tells Viktor more than Yuri wants.  
  
“I'm fine, get off my back, old man,” he snarks as they load onto the airplane, finally snapping.

Viktor backs off, but it doesn't feel nearly much like a victory as it used to.

Beka is there to greet them when they get back, now that Yuuri is too big to comfortably sit behind a wheel. The twins are growing rapidly and Yuri is sure that he’s going to be out a coach soon, since Viktor will be unable to stay away from his mate after a certain point. It was the same way with Max, and Yuri wonders if it will be Celestino that takes over for him again, like he had last year.

Sometimes Yuri thinks of how crazy things have been in the last couple of years. Max being born and then Yuuri ends up pregnant again and it's twins and all the time, Yuri is so desperately trying for just one. One tiny, precious, amazing human to call his own. As much as he loves Max, it had been hard for him to hold him when he was first born, though at the time, Yuri didn't know why. It hadn’t been until Yuuri had announced this latest pregnancy that Yuri had realized what the feeling, the uneasiness, had been.

And now, he may never have that.

At the end of the season, they try again, as well as discuss the other options that Yuri didn’t really want to think they’d need.

Each negative test is a punch in the gut. Each baby he passes on the street mocks him. Every time he babysits the Nikiforov children, his heart breaks a little more. Seeing the twins after they’re born, holding them, feeling his love for them growing warm in his chest, feeling his stomach twist with the possibility that he may never have this on his own.

It’s too much.

888

After three years of trying in the off season, three years of heartbreak and disappointment, Yuri sits down with Beka and they pull out the options, the same way they do every year. This year, Yuri fills out the paperwork and signs his name next to Beka’s.

“We got approved for fostering,” Yuri says offhandedly one day, helping Mariya get cleaned off. “If it goes well, we might adopt.”

“Oh, really?” Yuri had finally broken down in front of Yuuri one day, two years previously, and told him everything. Yuuri had kept his secret and helped Yuri through the some of worst of his depression spells.

“Yeah. It’s been over three years, you know? If it hasn’t happened by now, it’s probably not going to happen.” Yuri shrugs with a fake casualness that doesn’t fool Yuuri at all.

He sets Kin down and shoos him and his sister off to play. “Yura-”

“It’s fine, Katsudon.” He snaps the words out, but doesn’t try to pull away when Yuuri wraps him in his arms. It’s a familiar place and Yuri doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Yuuri. “I just really wanted a baby of my own,” he chokes out into the fabric of Yuuri’s shirt. The tears fall, despite his best efforts.

Yuuri makes soothing noises and rocks them in place while Yuri cries. He hears one of the kids come in at one point and Yuuri shooes them away before Yuri can even lift his head.

“Sorry,” he says when he finally pulls away. His eyes are heavy now, exhaustion settling over him after the catharsis. He’s done that with Beka so many times now, but this is the first time since Yuuri had found out that he’s cried in front of someone else.

“Don’t ever apologize. If there was anything we could do… Yura, you know we would do it in a heartbeat.”

Yuri nods his head, because he _does_ know. They clean the lunch mess together in silence before Yuri leaves, giving all four kids kisses and hugs and promises to go to the park soon. He heads home instead of the rink like he normally would; retiring meant that he no longer _had_ to go there, though Yuri still went there often. Beka wouldn’t be home for a few more hours and Yuri idly thought about making a big dinner for him to come home to. They often traded off the chore or just ordered in, but something in Yuri is itching for him to take care of his husband, to make something for him.

The feeling usually only comes around just before and after his heat, which is something Yuri dreads now more than he did when he first presented. Heat comes with disappointment, another solitary line on a stick, once again telling him his body isn’t good enough.

He shakes his head and reminds himself of what Beka would say if he could hear Yuri’s thoughts. His husband is firm in his belief that Yuri is amazing at everything and he’s always quick to stop Yuri’s downward spirals when it comes to this issue.

 _But he’s not here now_ , a nasty little voice says.

Yuri quashes it viciously and stops by the store to pick up a few items. Over the years, they’ve managed to create some amazing meals that were a perfect Russian/Kazakh fusion and that comfort would go far in helping Yuri’s mood tonight. He’s grabbing the bags after checking out when his phone rings and he fumbles with it for a moment as he tries to move out of the way at the same time.

The name of their case worker on the screen has his heart beating in overtime.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Altin-san, it’s Yamamoto Ao.”

“Yamamoto-san, it’s good to hear from you.” Yuri all but shoves the bags in the back seat and hurries to sit inside, ear pressed to the phone.

They go through brief pleasantries after having known each other for over a year by now while they were getting their approval, until Ao finally asks, “Are you and Otabek-san ready for a child right now?”

“What? A child? Now?” The words don’t seem to penetrate the fog of his mind, giddy with possibilities.

She lets out a small laugh. “Yes, Yuri-san, a child now. A little boy just came in, four years old. He looks like a very good match for the two of you.”

Yuri pauses before he can blurt out _YES_ to the entire world. His heat is coming up and this is really something he needs to talk to Beka about as well. Ao-san is very understanding when he tells her this, both knowing the abrupt change is already going to be hard enough, promising to send over the file on the boy, whose name Yuri learns is Akihiko. He promises to call her back after his heat is over and sits in the car for a few minutes longer, the silence ringing in his ears.

Could this be it? The chance to raise a child, to fill that hole in their family, the way Yuri had longed to for so many years now? Could this be the child that Yuri isn’t able to have, a precious tiny human to shower with love, to show what love means as they grew? Yuri doesn’t know anything other than the child’s name, hasn’t even seen his face, but already his heart tugs at the thought of him.

He cooks on autopilot and Beka hums appreciatively when he comes in, wrapping his arms around Yuri’s waist and kissing the crown of his head. “That smells wondering, Yurochka.” Yuri manages a weak smile for him, but holds in the news until they’re seated at the table.

“Ao-san called me today.” He glances up through the fringe of his long hair.

Beka’s fork hangs from his mouth as he looks at Yuri. He pulls it out to chew, waiting until after he’s swallowed before asking, voice raspy, “What did she say?”

“There’s a little boy, four years old, who needs a home.” The smile he gives Beka is stronger than before, but distinctly more watery. “Are you ready to be an _äke_?”

The answer is “of course” and Yuri knows that they are ready, but still, something unclenches in his stomach, some tension released, when Beka stands up and draws Yuri to him, crushing them together as they both cry with happiness.

888

“Aki-kun, come on,” Max yells as he and Mieko come stampeding into the Altin house. They both come up to Yuri, giving him hugs when he holds out his arms, before he’s shooing them to Aki’s room. Mieko makes herself comfortable on the couch, a typical fifteen year old with her face buried in her phone. Yuuri comes in after them, carrying eight month old Chi on his hip and the twins trailing behind, obviously plotting something, matching devious looks on their five year old faces.

“Yura, hi,” Yuuri says, groaning in relief as Yuri takes Chi from him, cooing at the baby.

“Hey.”

“So we’re taking Aki-chan just for the night?” Yuuri busies himself around the kitchen, getting stuff together to make the group of them lunch. He does it every time, unable to stay sitting even now, and Yuri has stopped trying to get Katsudon to not feed him. Yuuri always says that Yuri looks too thin and Yuri secretly loves being cared for.

“Yeah, unless he wants to stay another night and you guys want to keep him longer.” Yuri watches him make his favorite rice dish.

“Is something wrong?”

Yuri smiles, soft and secret. “No, I just realized it’s been awhile since Beka and I have had a night alone and Akiya has been wanting to stay over with Max for awhile.”

Yuuri laughs. “I’m so glad those two are so close in age; it really has been a blessing.”

“Yeah, a blessing.”

After they eat and the adults catch up, Yuuri herds the kids out to the car and loads them in. Yuri hugs them each in turn, blows a raspberry on Chi’s tummy, and kisses each of the twins cheeks when they request it. His own son, Yuri wraps in his arms, even though at seven, he sometimes tries to say he’s too big for such things. Aki doesn’t wiggle out of his grip now, though, just hugs Yuri tightly and accepts his kiss before he piles in next to Max. Yuri waves them off and sets about getting the house back in order. Yuuri is always good at making the kids clean up after themselves, but there’s always the little things that are slightly out of order and going through the motions of picking and straightening is soothing to Yuri’s nerves.

He makes dinner, simple but comforting, and has it ready just as Beka comes in. He takes his kiss, long and hot the way it is when Beka has had a long day, which makes Yuri reconsider his plans for half a second; but no, this is good news, it shouldn’t wait.

Once they’re seated at the table, Beka says, “What’s on your mind, Yurochka?”

“What makes you think there’s something going on?”

“Because you only ever make this meal when you have big news.”

Yuri glances down and realizes it’s the same meal he made when he asked him to move to Japan, when he asked Beka to be his mate, to marry him, that he was going to retire from ice skating, when he told Beka about Aki-

His breath hitches.

“I haven’t been feeling well the past couple of weeks and I went to the doctor this morning.”

Beka stops eating to look at him. “Yura?”

“I’m pregnant, Beka.”

The _whoop!_ Beka lets out makes Yuri jump and then he’s being enveloped in a hug. He clings, fingers digging into the back of Beka’s shirt as he sobs.

“You’re pregnant! Really? How far along, what did the doctor say, is everything okay?” Questions tumble out of Otabek’s mouth until Yuri laughs, pulling away enough to put his hand over his lips.

“Yes, really, they did a sonogram. About ten weeks along, going by my last heat, everything looks good, there’s no health issues that they can see right now.” Yuri takes a deep breath, fresh tears gathering in his eyes. “Beka, we’re going to have a _baby_.”

Beka laughs, picking him up and twirling him around. “We really are, I can’t believe it!”

888

They agree not to tell anyone but their son until after the first trimester ends, just in case. Once they pick him up from the Nikiforov’s, they take him to his favorite restaurant and wait until dessert to break the news.

“This doesn’t change how we feel about you,” Beka says firmly when Akiya looks like he’s going to cry.

“We still love you so much and you will always, _always_ be our baby, our oldest child, our first son, okay?” Yuri adds, looking down at the boy who is curled to his side.

Aki doesn’t say anything, just nods, but he still looks like he doesn’t know what to do, so small and lost as he curls tighter into Yuri. Akihiko was put into the system only briefly after both of his parents had died, before they had fostered and then adopted him, but all of it had left a lasting impression on him. His therapist said it was a fear of abandonment and together, they worked through it, but everyone knew that fear didn’t easily leave a person.

Yuri doesn’t say anything when Aki crawls into bed with them that night, something he hasn’t done in over a year, just curls around his son and kisses the top of his head. He doesn’t say anything when Aki has an accident in bed a week later, or when he breaks a vase in a fit of anger or when he gets in trouble at school. Yuri sits him down and talks him through his emotions.

And, when the baby kicks for the first time while the two of them are out shopping together, Yuri immediately stops and takes Aki’s hand, pressing it where the thumps can be felt. There’s awe in his eyes when he looks at Yuri, little hand pressing into his belly.

“That’s your little brother, Aki-chan. He’s going to look up to you, so you’re going to protect him, right?”

Aki nods solemnly before wrapping his arms around his Mama. “I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> No I did not cry writing this what are you talking about nope not at all...
> 
> Google translate says "äke" is Kazakh for 'dad' so go yell at that or correct me. Shoutout to BunnieHearts for helping with the Japanese honorifics <3
> 
> Here's the ages of the kids throughout the fic:
> 
> Mieko 12 - 15  
> Max 4 - 7  
> Akihiko 4 - 7  
> Twins (Mariya and Kin) 2 ½ - 5  
> Chi 8 months
> 
> If you have any prompts, please drop them in the little box!


End file.
